Baby on the Brain

It’s been a little quiet around my blog lately…it’s because I can’t think of anything else than my BIG ultrasound tomorrow morning where we find out if it’s a girl or boy. We would be excited for a boy or girl, but I’m more nervous about finding out if the baby is healthy. I’m so preocupied with thoughts of the appointment – I can hardly get work done, I can’t sleep and I’m just a nervous wreck. I have glimses of peace and then my mind starts wandering again. Please pray for me!

As proof of this “baby brain” as I like to call it, I accidentally posted my Social Security Number on Twitter this morning (thanks to everyone who responded to let me know!).

I can’t think of a worse thing to accidentally do on a social network. Can you?

Sin No More.

As I continue to experience more and more intimacy with the Lord, I also experience more and more times where I feel far away from Him, dirty and sinful. I allow fear to creep into my life and – POOF – I’m like a fatherless child with no where to run when only days before that I was resting comfortably in His arms.

When I feel far from God, I feel like I’m no closer to God than the meth addict in the back alley. Is that true? Has my sin made me as destitute as the liar or thief who has never accepted Jesus? Am I hopelessly searching for a close relationship with God when all I’ll find is a shameful girl and a distant father?

In searching for these answers, I realized I was asking the wrong question. The question isn’t if I’m guilty, dirty and far from God. The question is: Why can’t I accept my righteousness in Christ? Because there is no more sin. I’ll say it again – THERE IS NO MORE SIN!!!

2 Corinthians 5:21 – God made the one who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God.

Did you hear that? I’m the righteousness of God. I’m the righteousness of God. I’M THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD…

and I refuse to believe otherwise!

The Sound of Our Love

These are the 5 songs I could listen to forever:

  1. Bad – U2
  2. Romeo & Juliet- Dire Straights
  3. Danny’s Song – Loggins and Messina
  4. It’s Your Love – Mark Thomas
  5. Pony Man – Gordon Lightfoot

The reason I love these songs is because they are the soundtrack to my love affair with my husband:

  1. Bad – U2 – This song was playing during our first kiss.
  2. Romeo & Juliet- Dire Straights – We used to slow dance and sing this song while we were dating.
  3. Danny’s Song – Loggins and Messina – We played this song at our wedding and Mark still sings it to me
  4. It’s Your Love – Mark Thomas – Mark wrote this song after we had a miscarriage last year. It healed my soul.
  5. Pony Man – Gordon Lightfoot – Mark sings this song to the baby at night.

What songs could you listen to forever????

My Tearful Adventures

Mark hinted to me that I might be a tad bit hormonal lately. Of course, I completely denied it until these things happened last week:

  • I sat down in my bosses office to let him know I wasn’t satisfied with my review. Before I could say two words, I was sobbing like a baby and couldn’t catch my breath. The poor man didn’t know what to do. I’m pretty sure I didn’t make any sense and made a complete fool out of myself. I haven’t cried at work in the 4 years I’ve been here. It was humiliating.
  • During our lovely Valentine’s date, I yelled at the sweet movie attendant about the parking situation before bursting into tears and demanding our money back. Again, humiliated. Good thing Mark saved the night by getting me calm and taking me home for a movie.
  • I have been craving doughnut holes for weeks. This morning, I finally went to the quaint, local doughnut shop by our house to indulge myself only to be sold STORE BOUGHT, STALE doughnut holes – Winchell’s, I will cut you.  As soon as I got in my car, I cried.

I admit…I think I would have cried about the doughnuts – hormones or not!

I-Need-A-Vacation!!!!

I’m so swamped with work that don’t have time to check blogs, twitter, or write a post. I NEED A VACATION!!!

The best vacation I ever went on was to Cancun with Markie on our honeymoon. Margaritas and french fries on the beach are delightful combination. We wanna go back before the baby comes (sans the margaritas).

What’s the best vacation you’ve ever had??? OR Where’s your dream vacation???

My Biggest Fear of Pregnancy…

I’m terrified…TERRIFIED…of getting a F A T   F A C E. I’m completely obsessed with the idea that my cheeks will get so puffy that you won’t be able to see my eyes.

I even sleep sitting up most of the night (because I read somewhere that helps with facial swelling). I also wear this every night:

contraption1

C’mon…you gotta love this contraption!