Age 7: Wearing a huge dress with a hoop in the bottom of the skirt on a tall stage and the entire audience can see my underwear.
Age 8: Showing off to my “crush” by doing an amazing cartwheel and farting in the middle of it.
Age 11: Laughing on my friend’s trampoline during a sleepover and peeing my pants (the pee seeped through the trampoline and dripped onto the girls under the trampoline who were making me laugh).
Age 13: My friend literally gagged and threw up a little when I took off my shoes at a sleepover because my feet smelled so bad. (I hated socks – until then)
Age 16: Mark’s parents catching us making out (heavily) on the couch while I was a guest in their home.
Age 16: Showing up to my first day of college with a huge bruise on my face because Mark accidentally hit me with a laser gun.
Age 17: Leaving my first real job in tears because I outed an affair within the company and I was the one who was asked to leave.
Age 20: Asking my mother-in-law for Sex & The City season 1 for my birthday
Age 21: Crying in front of my boss at work
Age 23: Wearing a sequin shirt, leggins and side ponytail to my CEO’s house
There are several others that didn’t make this list and only Mark knows what those are.
Your most humiliating moment??
I just realized that I am really OK with me.
I never thought I’d say that. I’m a bit overweight. I wish my hair (and my legs) were longer. But all in all, I’m OK. I love my marriage and my husband makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the universe (I’m sure that has something to do with it.)
For years, I have tormented myself over 10 lbs. I have secretly changed clothes 10 times every day before picking something that “works”. I have spent countless hours doing my hair and makeup. I have spent thousands of dollars on new clothes. I have been a work in progress with no possible end in sight. I pour over magazines and compare who I am to the paper dolls staring back at me.
Why am I saying this? Because today I am OK with me. I’m sure I’ll look back on this blog post and laugh out loud because there will (no doubt) be days where I’m not OK. I just need to put it on record that today I am OK. Today I feel beautiful. Today I hope I feel this way forever.
I have spent most of my teenage and adult years resenting the fact that I am a “jack of all trades, master of none.” I can do many things well, but I am not exceptional at one particlar thing (like Mark is with music).
I have been tormented at the thought that I would always be someone’s assistant. Always busying myself with helping others accomplish THEIR dreams and not my own. Stroking the egos and money that make up the corporate world. There was a quote on the House season opener that frightened me to my core:
I would rather live among the birds than waste it wishing I had wings.
Is this true of me? Am I OK with just living among the birds and never living for myself. Never chasing my own dreams…the big, fat, undeniable answer is NO.
Maybe being a jack of all trades means that I will be good at starting my own business someday or good at coming up with something different to blog everyday – HA! For now I’ll embrace the fact that I’m a jack of all trades.
But listen up cruel world: JudiFree is here to stay and she has wings…huge, purple, pink, and sequin studded wings!
Since my parents moved to town, I have learned that I still have some learning to do. In my mind, I am a young, sophisticated, and independent woman. What else could I possibly need to learn???
Here’s the 1st lesson I’ve learned since they have been here: Say What You Mean…Mean What You Say. Sounds simple…but it’s really not. I’m realizing that I’m flaky. YES. Flaky. The worst kind of flaky too. I tell people all of the time that I will be somewhere or do something and then I don’t do it. I make excuses and all sorts of explanations of why I didn’t or can’t do something that I said I would do.
My parents did not sit me down to teach me this lesson…they simply believed me when I told them that I would come over to their house. No follow up phone call to double-check that I would come. They just sat by the door and waited for me. I was so convicted because I knew I couldn’t back out or cancel at the last minute (like I normally do). If I even mention in a casual conversation…”I’ll swing by on Friday”…then at the end of the conversation, they say “OK, we will see you on Friday.” Period. I said it. If I said it, I must have meant it. If I meant it, then I surely will do it…right?
I thought about all of the things my parents said they would do (like move to Denver). All of the promises they have made, they have kept. I have no reason to doubt them when they tell me that they will do something or be somewhere. It is so comforting to know that you can rely on someone’s word. No second-guessing if they will show up or cancel on you. No awkward conversations. No broken promises. No leading people on. Right now, my word isn’t worth much, but I’m going to change that. My word will be my bond…I’m looking forward to this!
Totally random…I was just writing a very serious blog post and “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred came up on my iTunes Shuffle…why do I even own this song!?!?!! I’m so embarrassed.
I totally lost my will and concentration to finish writing my serious blog post and decided to ask this very important question:
What song is on your iTunes that you are embarrassed of?
Oh my goodness…”Another Night” by The Real McCoy just came on my shuffle. What is happening in my life right now!?!
This week, I went to church directly after work on TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY – 3 weeknights in a row.
I was working and volunteering. I was worshiping and being fed. I was fellowshipping and having real community. I was dreaming and planning. I feel like our church has become more active – or maybe I have just become more active.
The days were long, 13-hour days, but for some reason…I didn’t mind at all. I think this is a sign. A sign that I could very well be ready for revival. Revival in the terms that I am perfectly OK with God interrupting my perfect little schedule. I’m OK with being at church every night instead of my cozy little home. I’m OK with spending my lunch hour reading the bible instead of going out with friends. I’m OK with the people at church being my best friends. I’m OK that the first place I kiss my husband all day long is on stage before worship starts.
Are you ready for revival to interrupt your life?
I have been told that my blog is GIRLY. I LOVE THAT!!!
So I share with you my secret passion: I love to do hair and make up!
Specifically – hair and make up for weddings! It can be very stressful, as a wedding is the ultimate dress up day for a woman, but it is so fabulously fun when everything turns out right. Here is my beatiful friend, Deanna, on her wedding day with her bridesmaids. I did Deanna’s makeup and her bridesmaid’s hair – aren’t they lovely?
Ladies, if you need your hair or makeup done for a special occasion (prom, homecoming, blind date, wedding). Just give me a shout – it’s my favorite thing to do! I am doing hair for a bridal party on Saturday morning and I’m so STINKIN EXCITED!