Doubtfully Saved

As a child who was born and raised in church by amazing parents who are on fire for God. I find it is very easy for me to slip into a strange doubt of my salvation. Mostly because it is all I’ve ever known.

I don’t have a powerful testimony of being saved from a life of drugs, alcohol or abusive relationships. I wasn’t transformed and set free from the hands of the enemy overnight. I never woke up COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I’ve never been on the verge of suicide. (these are all very powerful testimonies I’ve heard)

I remember being a young child and praying the sinner’s prayer after every sinful act I committed. I would lie to my parents and then I would ask Jesus into my heart again (as if he ever left). It was strange. I only ever knew God as my savior and for that…I often take Him for granted.

And here I am know…needing him more than ever. I’m craving His word more than ever. I’m realizing that He did save me from the grips of Satan. He spared me of having to go through the muck and mire of living a sinful life in the first place. I can look back at “Anchor Points” in my walk with God. Moments where I have been undeniably in the presence of God. This is what I hold on to when I have my doubts – when I don’t “FEEL SAVED”…whatever that means.

I’m so young still. I can do so much for God’s kingdom still. That’s what I should be worried about: What am I doing with this salvation?…NOT – how did I get saved?…

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5 thoughts on “Doubtfully Saved

  1. You are a amazing young lady, and someday, if you stay on this path your kids, wether your own or reaching out to those in your neighborhood or church will be impacted by you, as you were by your parents. Your human, and as a human battles of faith, sins, and other distraction will always be around, but it is your strength and your commitment to the Lord that has kept you doing so much for his salvation in your past, and I have faith that you will do even more in the future.

  2. don’t sell your testimony short. in a world full of temptations to lead a prodigal life, being able to keep your faith throughout your childhood is an incredible testimony. that is a testimony just as powerful as any, IMHO.

  3. I can definitely understand. I too grew up in church and gave my heart to the Lord at a young age. My greatest struggle has been “religion”. Im now 30, and Im just getting to the place where Im able to accept God’s grace and not constantly live in fear of him being “mad at me”.

    It’s a process, but remember you ALWAYS have a testimony. You testify on this blog everytime you post.

  4. As a child who was born and raised in church by amazing parents who are on fire for God, I find it is very easy for me to slip into a strange doubt of my salvation. Mostly because it is all I’ve ever known.
    I often try to imagine a world where every testimony is just like yours. Call me a dreamer.

  5. I feel ya. My story is similar.
    Pacing my driveway with a piece of sidewalk chalk in hand at 4 years old i remember repeating over and over and over, “Jesus please come into my heart.”

    “Experience is the teacher of fools.”

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